Anyone who has ever been in a long-term relationship knows that there is only one secret to a lasting, happy and healthy relationship – hard work. It’s not about how skinny you are, how good of a cook, how domestic, how much money you have, make or spend… it’s about how hard the two people in the relationship decide to work together to make things keep on ticking.
There are various stages in relationships. First – the WOO. Everything is chocolates, roses, long talks and long walks, holding hands, intimacy, and all smiles. Then there is the WHOO HOO phase, also known as the Honeymoon. More newness, more fun-ness, life is grand. But then… and this is the hardest phase (and if you ask me the most rewarding phase)… the WHO sets in. As in… Who did I marry? Who am I? Who were we kidding? The wine and roses are fewer and farther between. There are long hard days in thankless jobs, laundry, dishes, in-laws, mortgages, and general everyday stressors.
After the ecstasy comes the dishes. That’s when it gets real. And when it’s real… that’s when it’s WONDERFUL. I have been married for five amazing years, none of which I would trade for a second. Not even the ugly seconds. And yes, there have been a few. But those are the ones where you realize WHO you married… and you realize that you are still saying WOO HOO.You learn to work through the hard times… through times when you hit the wall and you’re falling and you wonder who is going to be there to catch you… and you realize that your partner has caught you and was actually holding you the whole time.
Those are the times when you realize that you married your best friend and your soul mate… the one who loves you just for you and for nothing else. The one who, when you are wearing a bleach stained t-shirt and cleaning the toilet, says to you “you are beautiful, honey. I love you”. And you say “don’t just stand there can you pass me the toilet duck” and you both collapse laughing… and everything else just melts away. If you ask me… that is the real WOO.
Because after ecstasy… always comes the dishes.