In every relationship, there is a list (figuratively, of course). A list of reasons why the relationship works, and what makes it tick. And for each couple, that list is unique to them and their situation. It takes into account how personalities mesh and why souls connect. And while I can guarantee that there will always be things on the list that are not understood or agreed upon by others, quite frankly, the list is no one’s business but your own.
I know couples who have handled infidelity, money problems, or differences of culture, race, or religion. I know couples where one person is widely liked while the other person is not. But the one thing that all of these couples have in common is that they make a conscious choice to be together because of what they have with each other. They are good together, they know that, and that is what matters.
From the outside, some of these issues appear may insurmountable. Comments like ‘I would never deal with that’ or ‘I don’t know why they stay together’ tend to fly freely when others learn of the trouble. But honestly, when it comes down to it, it doesn’t matter. As long as they are truly happy, with who they are and who they are with, that is what is important.
We’ve all heard expressions about walking miles in other people’s shoes – these instances are no different. Until you are there, with that person, in that scenario – you never know.
The next time you look at another person and judge their relationship (either with approval or with condemnation) remember that you don’t know what’s on their list. Instead, look at and after the things on your own list, in your relationship. Keep your own list current, up to date, and relevant.
But remember – the only one to whom your list matters, is you.