The good news is – I’m still here. The bad news is that May is LONG gone, and June is half over. Where are the updates? I don’t have a good excuse; only to say that the past couple of months I haven’t even always been sure where I was, much less where my updates were. So better late than never, and here we go.
I am ashamed to admit that I had to look up what May stood for. It was, wait for it, boost energy. HA. Good one, Harper. In hindsight, which they always say is 20-20, I should have known better than to make that type of goal. What was I thinking? Regardless, safe to say that May was indeed a challenge for me. It involved lots of travel for work and teaching my second course with SFU. Both of which I enjoy; but both of which require more than 100% of me in their own ways.
Looking back, I think that the perspective I gained in April went out the window in the month of May, as I tried (unsuccessfully) to boost my energy by doing more, being more, seeing more, etc. I am self-admittedly one of these people who likes to be busy and involved in multiple things at once. But if there was one valuable thing I learned in May, it was that I have a line. Up to that line, the busier I am the more energy I feel. But once I cross that line, things go downhill in a hurry, and typically, my recovery time gets longer the thinner I’ve stretched myself. So lesson learned – be busy, but recognize the signs – and don’t be afraid to understand that, after a certain point, less really does become more.
Okay – enough retrospective. Since we are already halfway though June, I thought it only fair to tell you about my goal for the month, and give you a little update on how I think I’ve fared so far.
June’s goal is marriage. As in make mine better, stronger, more loving, more fulfilling, more everything. Which isn’t to say I’m not divinely happy with my husbee, because I am (and we are), but because, as I was saying to a friend of mine just last week, and as I have said on more than one occasion to many people, having a happy and successful marriage is a choice. Every day, my spouse and I choose to love each other. We choose to compromise in the face of challenges. We choose to listen and support each other no matter what the challenge. We choose to be each other’s everything. And most of all, we choose and vow, all over again, to fulfill all the promises we made to each other no matter how long ago.
I’m very happy to say that June is a success so far. And it has been easy and wonderful to see my marriage continue to grow and deepen, and to reap the rewards of my marriage every hour of every day, with a few small realizations and changes. I am truly blessed to be with the man I chose, who chose me, and that of course makes everything rosy. But I have found that, even on the challenging days, with a little more listening and a little less reacting, the balance between us is stronger than ever.
It helps me to remember these words: “every day is a gift, that’s why they all it the present”.
If today was my last day with my husband, would it be important who was right most often, who was ready first, who took out the garbage the most often, or who spent the most money on whom? No. None of those things would count. Instead, we would be glad for the hugs, the hand holdings, the winks, and the I love you’s. We would remember the dances in the kitchen, the laughs shared at the ball diamond, and the stories told in the car driving to and from work. So it’s important to me that I stop worrying about what doesn’t count and continue enjoying what does.
As they say, June came in like lion. And while I hope my life settles and it goes out like a lamb, I will have an update regardless when the calendar flips to July. So carry on, June. Carry on.