Defining a Provider

I read an article a few days ago that piqued my interest (click here to read the article in full). In short, the article talks about how the ‘modern man’ is supposed to be many things to their partner and should avoid some specific pitfalls if they are to keep their wife and their marriage in good shape.

The ‘rule’ that I have the challenge with is #1: “Providing the basics for your family”. It talks about a man working overtime shifts, or keeping his mouth shut if he don’t like his boss so he keeps his job. I disagree with this definition of ‘providing’ for a partner in a relationship.

I am in a wonderful relationship; my husband and I both work very hard at different things and towards different passions, to provide a home for each other and lifestyle that we enjoy together. We make different amounts of salary – but to me, that is the very least of being a provider.

To me, a provider is someone who loves me, when I don’t love myself. Someone who makes me smile, when I’m down. Someone who carries me, when I’m too tired to carry myself. The job or the money is only a single, very unimportant part of all of this – someone who works long hours to ‘bring home the bacon’ is NOT a provider unless they do all the other things that their partner needs them to do along the way.

The idea of a provider within a relationship should also be targeted towards both parties within a relationship, not just the ‘modern day man’. The last time I checked, a marriage and a relationship is a two-way street. Both partners need to be committed to success if the relationship is going to work. Both people need to be invested to keep the relationship, the spark, the trust, and the commitment alive to make it through the good times and the bad.

So how do you define a provider? To me, to be a partner in a committed relationship is, at it’s very basest level, what it means to provide for the person you are with. The technicalities of what that provision looks like will vary in every relationship and to every couple out there, but think about your definition of providing for your partner the next time you work late hours, take on extra shifts, or abandon your partner for the sake or ‘providing’ for them.

What are you really providing? Is it really what they need? Providing isn’t ‘providing‘ if it’s not good for the relationship.

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Tears at the Olympics – We Ought To Be Ashamed

The Olympics been in full swing now for a little over a week and I am as excited and proud as the next Canadian, watching events day after day thanks to the miracle of television.

This year, with the Olympics in Canada, it seems as though all you hear is the idea of Canada “Own(ing) the Podium”.  As a competitive athlete for many years, a coach for several years, and a sports enthusiast for my whole life, I wholeheartedly disagree. I understand that the Olympics are about competition and that of course, there can only be 3 champions in each event, on any given day. But what about the athletes who train their whole lives, go to the Olympics, and happen to have a bad day? They are still there, representing our country. We should be so proud of them – winners, personal best achievers, and competitors alike.

Case in point: Mellisa Hollingsworth.  After she lost a skeleton race in which she was expected be on the podium, the interviewer put her on national television, crying.  It was an embarrassment; to see the media almost berate her for her loss, asking her questions like: “How do you feel ?” Seriously. How do you THINK she feels?! Unbelievable. On behalf of media outlets everywhere, to Mellisa and all our Canadian athletes; I am sorry for our behavior towards you. We, the real Canadian fans, are proud of you. All of you.

At least our athletes are there. At least our athletes are representing our country honorably and elegantly. Let’s be proud of who we are and of what it means to be Canadian. Let’s celebrate the personal bests being achieved. Let’s celebrate the victories over injuries which have allowed the athletes just to compete. Let’s celebrate the stories of our athletes who are doing their best.  Let’s celebrate the families who have sacrificed and supported to get their sons/daughters there. Let’s celebrate the spirit of the games.

The Olympic spirit is best expressed in the Olympic Creed: The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not to win but to take part, just as the most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well.

The Canadian media would do well to remember this.

Go Canada Go. I am, and will always be, proud.

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